Well, Hello There, Strangers

Introduction to Security Greatness

Every once in a while, as far back as history goes, great events happen that impact the world. Events, so monumental, that history not only records it, but marks it as a key point worth teaching future generations about. The invention of writing by the ancient Sumerians. The invention of the wheel in ancient Mesopotamia. The great Hanson Gregory, widely considered the OG that developed a food so pivotal, its now a critical staple and feeds an entire industry. Of course, I’m talking about the hallowed donut.

And now, you’re witnessing history once more. Friends and neighbors, I’m Mike Thunder. Welcome to my blog, Status: Nothing to Report. Over my decades in the security, I’ve come across some of the craziest and downright appalling “sincidents” you’ll ever hear about. It’s not every day Mama appoints the “Greatest Security Guard, Ever,” but I’m him and you’ll be thankful for it.

Consider these my memoirs. Designed to show you how true greatness handles the every day, the mundane, the dangerous and the extraordinary, all while keeping cool as a cucumber and at times, giving the bad guys what’s coming to ‘em.

I might just be the last true 24/7 Security Guard out there. Don’t believe me? Read on and see for yourself. While you’re at it, grab a donut, save one for me, and be regaled with tales from behind the Thin Purple Line from an insiders point of view. Truth is optional, humor is mandatory, and I guarantee a good time you don’t even have to call for, or my name isn’t Mike Thunder.

You’re Welcome.